College

I’m almost there with my undergraduate degree. I’m currently working on a major project regarding suicide bombing. I think I have a unique angle and I’m trying to develop a mystical epistemology, but it is certainly not easy. It’s like I have all these ideas that are hard to put down in writing. I feel inspired, but also overwhelmed.

At times like this, we all have our saints, and mine is St. Catherine of Siena.st-catherine-of-sienna1

Ecstasy as a Way of Life

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Bernini, Ecstasy of St. Teresa, Marble, Santa Maria della Vittoria

For if the will is not occupied and love has nothing present with which to be engaged, the soul is left as though without support or exercise, and the solitude and dryness is very troublesome, and the battle with one’s thoughts extraordinary.

– St. Teresa of Ávila, Book of Her Life, 7

I find myself unoccupied quite frequently. Summer is hard. There is no school. People have gone home. I need to work on cultivating love in my heart. Love for God and all his works.

Daily Thoughts

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Praying Hands, After Durer

Everyday I pray for my friends. Sometimes I pray for myself. Lately I’ve just been asking God to do what he will with me. I want to be God’s tool. I want God to fill me up with himself and work through me in any way he deems fit. I want to be an extension of God. I want to burn from the inside out with God’s power. This is the greatest feeling in the world, to know God is with you. God bless.

How do you pray?

Firsts

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Joan de Joanes, The Last Supper, c. 1562, oil on panel, Prado Museum

The night before Easter, the Vigil, I became a Catholic. I was baptized, confirmed, and took Holy Eucharist. Eucharist is important to me because it is when Catholics as a community all join with Christ. Timezones notwithstanding, I consumed the body of Christ with every other Catholic that attended Mass that night, at roughly the same time. We were all connected through the flesh of Christ, the true food (John 6:55). We all were truly part of the mystical body of the Church. God bless us.

I feel different now that I’m Catholic. Not amazingly different, but I feel like I’ve found my spot. I also feel like I can now fully participate in the lives of the saints. I can get closer to St. Catherine of Siena than ever before. I can follow in the footsteps of St. Thérèse of Lisieux, truly. I am content yet filled with burning. More on that later.